Teoz

I am not a happy bunny.

So, today had been pretty awesome. Manchester Uni is a lovely place and I think I could totally go there next year. And I totally managed to email some people about stuff that I’ve been meaning to do for like… a while. >.>

But, then the second I got back on my own campus things went to fucking pot. 

I have a deadline friday. Nothing too bad, just 1,500 words… But you see, I am not here Friday. I am going back home, so i can see my grandad who is hospital, so it has to be done by tomorrow morning. So rather than head home after manchester, I went straight to the computer labs to write up, Tumblr Distraction Free!

But, I had planned for that. I would pull an all nighter if needs be. That was fine.

I also need to meet with my Creative Writing supervisor soon. I’ve already had to postpone wht should ahve been a meeting today, because I was going to manchester. My lovely tutor rescheduled for… Friday. So, I sent a grovelling email at 9am this morning telling him I was sorry, but I had a family thing I needed to go home for. This email, for some reason, did not get sent. So I had to resend it at half fucking 7pm. >.>I bet I’m in his good books now.

But, I could deal with that, it’s a viable reason right? Everything will be fine. Honest.

Before I sat down to my lovely Literature Review, I managed to send off some PhD queries i had meant to send off like… last week month. And one of these got a reply! Wow! That was sooooooo quick! It was a lecturer arranging a phone interview! FOR FRIDAY. Now this, I cannot change, so I think 5pm, I can manage, I will be in a car going to the hospital, but I can deal. However, he wants a copy of my CV. Which I have been avoiding finishing for like a … week month.

But, I only have a few things to add. Even if it is going to have to be sent off asap tomorrow. So maybe I’ll have time after my Literature Review is finished? Right?

Then, at half past nine at night (I have been in the computer labs for Three and a Half hours non-stop now). I get a text from an english friend asking what i thought of the play I have to read for tomorrow. Which I haven’t read. So i check the library online and Bam! Copy Available! It’ll all be fine! I’ll read it, impress the lecturer, (who has let me change my seminar to thursday, because of the trip to manchester, even though it’s not for her subject) and all will be awesome! And so it is, I leave the computer room with 20 minutes until the library closes. [Because 24 hour libraries are for losers (._.)] So, i am a shade surprised when I cannot get in to take a single book out. The entrance is locked and I can see the Fat Old Man Security Guard laughing as I try to open the door.

But, it’s okay, I can read it tomorrow morning. I can get to the library bright an early and pick it up before any one else does. Then I can read it before my seminar. I don’t need sleep. I was already pulling an all-nighter for my Lit Review and CV, so I can add turn up to the library at 7:30am to the list. I can. I can go without sleep. Yes. I can.

It’s not like I got up at 8:30 this morning after going to bed at 2am. And It’s not like I won’t get home tomorrow night until 9pm. Oh wait. It is.

There is a bus that travels this campus. It is lovely, I can get free rides form my computer lab to my room. Brilliant when it’s what, 3 degrees outside and really fucking dark. Yet, if I walk to the library, I cannot use this service. Thus, it is an hour later and I still cannot feel my ears. All for a book I can’t read until tomorrow; when I drag my sorry carcass away from this computer.

So I go home, back to my warm room and, of course. I had forgotten. The cleaner has been. My bed is filled with all the crap I usually store on the floor: My bags of Fabric, my washing basket, my lecture notes… everything.

But I can deal with not crashing on my bed and screaming into my pillow until I feel human again. I have my ipod, an ipod docking station and the Inception Soundtrack I recently acquired! Yay!

So I plug in. I turn the volume up and I settle down to my laptop to write my Lit review… there is silence. I select the song turn up the volume, check it’s set to ipod… silence. Oh god, is it broken? I will die if I cannot listen to my ipod on my dock. It has such brilliant volume!

But, it’s fine. It’s not broken. The CLEANER just unplugged it. OF ALL THE ELECTRONICS I LEAVE PLUGGED IN, SHE UNPLUGS THE ONE THAT’S ACTUALLY OFF. But, it’s fine. I can listen I can fucking listen to Time and feel better as I realise just how awesome Hans Zimmer is. IT IS FINE.

Oh fuck, no it is not fine.

I am worried about my Granddad. I am scared he’s going to die, like my other Granddad did last year. I don’t know what will happen if he dies. He is amazing and he is lovely and I am so scared for him.

And on top of that I have to analyse a chemistry paper I can barely stand to look at, I have to finish my CV so I can actually get a PhD next year, I have been laughed at by fat old men, I cannot read this ridiculous book until tomorrow morning for 2pm, I am about to disappoint two of my favourite lecturers by being unprepared and just plain annoying, I am freezing cold, I can’t sit down on my bed, only my hard desk chair (Which doesn’t even fucking swivel), the cleaner obviously hates me and I am sooooo tired. So tired.

I just… I just don’t care anymore. I just want to go home.

P.S. (I would like to apologise if my click through ‘Read More’ does not work. I have never done this before, so if it clogs up anyone (hah, like I even have followers >.>) I am very very sorry)